Sunday, August 02, 2009

Zero??? ZERO?! ZEROOOOOO???!!!

Two days ago I was feeling awesome, WAY too awesome to be bringing a child into this world. Yesterday though, I started feeling baby-ish {or so I thought}...after an awesome birthday dinner complete with a suprise cake at the end we headed home and I was up from 12:30am-7:30 counting contractions ranging from 7 mins apart to 5, to 3, to 4--you get the idea.

Very irregular, and very irritating. So I called the on-call doc at 7:30am and she said to come in, so we all got ready---I did a full-out get ready, pageant style. New shampoo, makeup, hair, etc...

Apparently these are not things on your mind when you are a few centimeters into baby delivery. I'm new to this, I thought it was sort of like Miss Pregnant America.

We check into the Birth Center, and I'm feeling like Super Mom. That mom that is 7 centimeters and feels no pain {she doesn't exist the dr later told me}. I was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and I felt very professional, and loving it. JR kept telling me, "Babe please don't get your hopes up!!! There's a VERY good chance we're going home, because they are showing no rush in seeing you"....liar. I thought he was full of silly lies.

45 mins later, dr comes in, Cool 30 yr old dr---takes one look at me and says," You wouldn't be smiling at me if you were in labor right now!" with a #$%-eating grin across his face which of course made JR laugh in man-world. I wanted to pull that dr close and slap his pretty dr face with my heart monitor and tell him to please examine me because HE WAS WRONG.

Sure enough, post-exam he looks up and says ZERO! Not even one centimeter. Those words breathed out of his mouth like fire balls from the mouth of a heinous, hideous sea monster.

Or atleast that's what I saw.

I took my "professional-mom" label off, begged to stay strapped on to the table in Triage while my husband helped de-monitor me.

We are now home, waiting, but I thought I'd give you a clear-minded update while I can because turns out labor ain't no Miss Pregnant America.

I leave you with a rather unflattering picture of me, JR snapped on his phone as my "last pregnant picture ever" on our way to the hospital. Since I'll be pregnant for 73 more days, it likely won't be the last. So the picture is a big lie. Next time I'm wearing a blue shirt, the pink must have thrown Hudson off...


we will keep you posted over the next several days, 73 days :)

21 comments:

Stephanie said...

So sorry for you... But you made the story HILARIOUS!

bella grace photography said...

Love your blog..you are so adorable preggo..hang in their..Mr Hudson is making just practice runs...he will be her I predict Wed of this week...born at 7 pounds and 6 oz..20 1/2 in long....lets see if I am right..lol..well just wanted to make you laugh.
donna

The Drama Mama said...

SISTER, I SO feel your pain...I mean, more than you know! I, too, would've be slapping that 30-something yr old doctor....if he only REALLY knew! Girl, I'm praying Mr. Hudson comes soon...like TONIGHT! Prayers & HUGS!!

Sarah@VintageChic said...

Natalie, this is hilarious! I was the opposite... I didn't tell anyone we were going to the hospital in case we were sent home.... I figured I wasn't really in labor... instead I was 6 cm and feeling litterally no pain - so it can happen!

The Taliaferro's said...

oh nat you make me laugh out loud. i can actually see jr warning you too. im truly sorry that you didnt get to welcome hudson into the world b/c i cant wait to see that little man. well keep us posted and good luck. oh yeah you need to wear an ou jersey next time or something.

Kyndal said...

Can I just tell you that you are one of THE funniest people I know? I SO wish I would have come over to see you, Miss Pregnant America. You are gorgeous. I'm glad you were able to restrain yourself from attacking the man. When you're 40 weeks preggo, that's impressive. Let's just remember that not EVERY cool young doc with a pretty face is a heinous, hideous sea monster. ;)

Lil' Woman said...

lol...you stay making me laugh...and hush girl, you look great! : )

Sweet Simplicity said...

At least you looked good! :)
Looks like Baby Hudson is going to be a stubborn child! haha!

Abby said...

Something tells me you're going to be one of those pretty-in-labor mommas. The kind who - even with no make up and sweat pouring into their eyes - still make labor look good ;)

Sending you baby dust!!! Sprinkles and sprinkles of it!

amw said...

I love your blog! You are so funny and you are a stinkin gorgeous prego!! And not prego too, lol :) I hope little Hudson comes soon for you!

Lisa said...

awwwwhhhh! Soon, hopefully soon! You are too cute with your story. Does it count that you still look great???? hehe

Melissa said...

OK I don't normally leave comments on people's blogs I don't know (promise not crazy just like to be entertained :)) . But I just had a baby 9 weeks ago and starting following your baby journey by accident and you crack me up! I feel your pain. I was the most bitter pregnant woman of all time. When they are cooked, you are cooked and ready to meet them! This post is hysterical! :) It will be any day. I did acupuncture and begged them to do ANYTHING to get her out and 2 days later it worked. Still it is the WORST part of it. Will say a prayer for you and your baby boy! ;) Hope these last couple of days fly by for you!

Life at the White House said...

this made me laugh SO HARD......aggghhhh! hysterical (well, not really funny for you as you are dying for him to get here....but you know what i mean....it will be very funny some day).

he'll be hear soon!!!!! is tomorrow his actual due date or tuesday?

Ashlee and Carey said...

The sad thing is....it is a very funny story but I know every word is truly how you felt to the core and are still feeling right now! Just think....only 72 and a half more days to go! :) Love ya!

Ricardo and Lauren said...

Oh momma, I'm so sorry! makes for a good story though. You just tell him not to get too comfortable. He is sure to make his grand entrance soon.

I think he didn't want to steal your birthday so he's waiting to steal Rico's. I bet he won't make it that long! love you!!

Adventures in Newlywed said...

Oh, so funny! I'm sure little Hudson will come soon!

Lea Liz said...

girl you are just too funny!!! I loved this story although I know how awful it was to hear ZERO!!!!!!!

Come on baby Hudson!!!

The Drama Mama said...

I just had to comment again (I looked for your email but couldn't find one) to let you know I am praying for you! I pray you see Huds sweet little face very soon!

Email me if you get a chance, I wanted to ask you something! holliea {at} ymail {dot} com

Meant to be a mom said...

I'm so sorry that he didn't come out! But honestly I laughed while reading this post. Your just really funny.
I hope he comes soon, I know your getting anxious. But just so that you know you look just adorable in your "last pregnant pic".

Just Another Day in Paradise said...

You are too funny! I love reading your blog! He'll be here very soon.. especially since you are going through all that you are. Can't wait to see his pics! I say he'll be here within the next few days! Keep us posted! I'll be praying for you!

April said...

Awww ... having 2 boys myself, I completely understand where you are at! It sucks. I was so very impatient that I had to be induced! Ha, ha!! Lots of luck!! xoxo