Wednesday, April 08, 2009

P.A. Preggo's Anonymous

Hi, I'm 22 weeks/6 days pregnant. Uh, I'm here today because I'm growing. Yes, yes, I know. I'm supposed to. Parts of me are growing though, that nobody told me about. My library full of pregnancy books failed to mention the following scenario to me, therefore I need support (no pun intended)...

I have begrudgingly resisted against buying larger things for myself outside of the usual {preg jeans, tank tops, etc..} so when the morning came and I looked down at my uppers {milk-suppliers} I realized I was starting to more closely resemble that of the bovine family than the human counterpart I previously was. I blatantly have refused even against the persistant request of my oh-so-patient husband to upgrade to a larger size in the bra department. Nope, nope, nope. Why?????? Why do that? They're large enough. Enough.

They're gonna get HOW big, you said? My belly and uppers are starting to meet. I'm not even embarrassed to say. It's true. They are one now. Joined. As if life/gravity have brought them together. Well, I guess to some regard that is true. I however, am bewildered at the massive size they have acquired. Did they forget I'm only 5'3? Lest they know, I'm supposed to stand UP-RIGHT to grow a child.

Scenario: I go to Target to buy ONE thing. A dress. Got it, great. Done. As I'm walking out I happen to walk by the bra section. Ughhhh. Fine. I know what size I am normally, and I adamantly refuse to go up a letter size. Won't do it. I'll spare you the details, as not to frighten you, so I quickly snatched up the next size making sure no one saw how truly big my size was. There were plenty of course, because NO ONE is that big. Ever.

I grab the one I need and run. Run. As I'm fleeing the scene, my heinously large bra flies out of my grasp and into the middle of the aisle. The horror. I probably turned 17 shades of red as I picked it up. I wanted to yell out, "It's for my FAT sister!!!!" I think I even felt Hudson get embarrassed FORRR me.

I paid, went home. Sadly told my husband about the purchase. Him praising the Lord that his wife finally saw the light.

The next morning, I put it on, the biggest bra I could find. Never tried it on at Target because I knew it would fit. Why wouldn't it? It's the biggest bra in all the land.

it did not fit. The pregnancy books don't prepare you for that. My uppers have turned into udders.

I realize this is a fit-throwing post, but from time to time I must vent. Thus, why I have come to you at P.A. I am ever so grateful that my udders will provide Hudson all the nourishment to be the plumpest sweet tiny in all the world, but I am allowed this moment of sheer horror at my own boobs, er udders.

So, because that one did not fit I'm having one made. Double D, what? Here they are constructing it:

Photobucket

18 comments:

the rigdons said...

hahahahahaha... I so feel your pain, sister! Except in my case, I was relieved for all the help I could get! :o)

Miss. Pretty said...

hahahahaha..oh no! Now I'm worried for when my time comes. I don't need to be ANY bigger..uh joys of pregnancy..

The Fenner's said...

haha, this post made me SMILE!:)

Kelly said...

I have been in your shoes and they unfortunately get bigger and bigger and bigger. Thanks for the laugh today! I hope things go better in the melon department. ;)

Cody Thrasher said...

Have you seen my wife? Nuff said. :)

I'm sure she will welcome you to the club.

Cody, Holly, and Luke said...

I have a website for you...I'll email it to you!

I have the same problem :) lol

red30067 said...

i'll send you mine...

Sweet Simplicity said...

Haha! You got me with that picture!

Life at the White House said...

this was so ridiculously funny!

i don't have big uppers....at all....just pretty average.

so, i'm looking forward to going up a bra size someday!!! i do feel for ya though - at 5'3'' that's hard.

Abby said...

That. Was. Hilarious! LOL. The last pic totally added to it! And, girl, you aren't going to even know what hit you once your milk comes in!!!! My baby nurse described it as: Dolly Parton incarnating your body. Thinking of you and your "uppers!"

Ricardo and Lauren said...

haha!! Oh how I'm going to miss our chat about stuff like this once he's here!!

Lea Liz said...

ohh girl the same thing happened to me!!!!

BLC :o said...

Ha, bless your heart!! The good news, it won't last forever, right!? Xoxo-BLC

Suzi said...

I feel your pain... literally!! I am only 5'2" and I have been "blessed" with the same issue. Here is the good news: as your belly gets bigger, the uppers somehow don't look quite as big in comparison!! Hope that helps ;)

Adventures in Newlywed said...

Can't...talk...laughing...too...much!!! :)

Lil' Woman said...

Lol...I'm so sorry but your too funny girl...love the pic! :)

Marisa and John said...

Natalie! You poor thing. They tried to tell me that I needed to get a plus size bra (with a 32 ribcage...morons). I finally had to break down and have one custom fitted. I couldn't find one that fit me at any maternity store. Let me know if you need the name/number.

Life at the White House said...

hey girl-

i found the bag on another site (don't know if they have a fabric you would want or not)!

http://www.5littlepiggies.com/market/diaperbags/538

i just love it...so very cute. i just want to know exactly HOW big it is? hmmmm.